Forever Student (I Guess The Adult Life Is Not For The Scaredy Cats?)

After deciding that I will never be student again and being immensely happy with the fact that, once I graduated, I could do whatever I wanted and be my own person… I have came to the conclusion that working sucks and, even though I never thought so, I am a person that likes studying. How weird is that?

But I have learnt that working 9 to 5 six days a week is definitely not for me. I am literally feeling ill. I am constantly exhausted and I now think that the biggest reason for me constantly feeling sleepy and depressed is boredom. I guess it could be something else as well, but I’m not a doctor. I did actually went to do a blood test today, because this weird feeling and lifestyle have started to worry me. So, I guess what I am trying to say is, that if this all is not because of boredom and overworking myself, then we will know in a week or so. Also, I should probably point out that I am so so incredibly much scared of blood taking, that if I suggest to a doctor on my own to go for it, you know there is something seriously worrying me.

Thank God my housemate went to the hospital with me. If she haven’t, I probably wouldn’t have done it today. I already chickened out last Friday. Though, to be fair, I was hungover last Friday, so I guess it was a good idea to skip it then…

Going back to studying- I am 98% sure that in September I will be starting a Masters and becoming a student again. I know, I still can’t believe it as well.

It is called MA Myth, Cosmology and the Sacred, and its open lecture that I have attended was the best lecture that I have ever been to. It was led by the guest lecturer Dr. Martin Shaw and I can honestly say that I have never listened to something as interesting and as engaging as his storytelling and thoughts on romanticism as activism. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, but what I know for sure is that I want to know as much as I can. And if I have a chance to learn more about something that I have already been reading about on my own, and use it as inspiration in my art making, clothes making, songs or books, then I am all up for it.

I will probably regret this decision the moment I will have to start writing my first 4000 words essay, but I can deal with that in September. For now I will be happy because it feels like I might have found the next step in my life. Who would have thought life would want to make me into forever student.


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