When in Doubt, Go Away

I am ready to run away again.

I realized I am not ready to start my career yet. I got my degree and now it feels like everyone is expecting me to do something with it and, for some reason, I don’t even know if I like any of the things I could do with my degree.

I was never really passionate about anything. Not like other people are. You know, when you have something you love doing so much you could do it forever? I have hobbies. I do something and I am ecstatic about it for a while and then I find something else to be ecstatic about. And when I feel like I might need to do one thing forever I just get depressed. How weird is that?

Maybe I just haven’t found something that I really loved? Maybe it’s like with the love of your life- you can have million crushes, but you would only marry the real deal, only certain person can be the Mr Perfect.

So now that I can’t figure out the next step I am going to travel, apparently.

Basically, what happened was that a bit over a week ago I found out about this cheap travel agency, googled some stuff about it and decided to pay them a visit just to see what they are all about and what kind of trips do they offer. And now two days ago I have payed deposit to go visit Thailand and Australia for a month.

I couldn’t be more excited! I never thought I would be actually able to do something like this, but it’s happening. I am planning on volunteering with animals and learning how to dive and probably skydive as well, and it can’t come soon enough! I am a bit worried about visas, because I never had to apply for one before, but I’m sure I can handle it. I handled moving to another country, so I am hoping I can handle a trip on my own as well.

But I can’t help but feeling that I am just running again and searching for something. I don’t even know what that something is, but it’s out there and I know I don’t have it yet.



  1. I can relate to what you’re feeling. I don’t feel like I’ve found my “life passion” or whatever that everyone else seems to have found. I hope you find yourself on your travels, and you find whatever you are looking for. Best wishes!


  2. Visas are so frustrating! But hey, you will figure it out.
    I’m in the process of going to England(from Canada) to get my Master’s degree- above all for Theatre, which isn’t the most affluent industry to partake in. But I always try to remind myself that it is about the journey, not the destination.
    I know it’s really easy to SAY that.
    Well if that doesn’t work, try the serenity prayer.
    Or meditating.
    Hahaha I know, I’m also a big ball of nerves(10 days away), but not really knowing is a bit exciting, isn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing 🙂


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was actually considering going from England to do Masters in Canada. But as I am not hundred percent sure about what I want to do and if I even wanna do Masters, that will have to wait haha But I wish you all the best, I’m sure it will be amazing experience, and studying Theatre related degrees is so much fun! So good luck and thanks for kind words! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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